Sea Shells

The girls recent haul from the beach. I have a very strong suspicion that my girls will grow up to be hoarders of...urm...things/stuffs/rubbish. For Mini, it was just any shell in sight. Just take and take and take. Ash on the other hand, had a more specific reason for wanting those shells. She told me last night she wanted to make necklaces out of them. Although marveled at her vainability, I am not feeling particularly enthusiastic. For one thing, I don't know how possibly she's gonna turn these into necklaces. Plus, I do not have the patience to find out if she's stuck and asks me for help. I hate to tell her I am just too busy (read : lazy). 

It's just one of those things. I want yet I run away or have the urge to run. Bah! I shall let her deal with it when those shells have lost that dead fish stench. It is absolutely gross I tell you. The only good thing that came out of it is, we had a fantastic and relaxing holiday. Even hubby was happy. Thanks to Ash who dreamt of going to the beach everyday. It was indeed an excellent idea. We all need that break sometimes. 

And now, it's back to work, people *moans*. 

Fairy Bread

Ash has been obsessed with this fairy bread. No, it's not a magical bread where once you eat it, you become immortal and can fly about world. No, it's just a piece of bread covered with colourful sparkly sprinkles. I have not made it for her although she made it in school and kept asking to make one at home.

First of all, I haven't gone to buy fairy dust. Secondly, she has forgotten all about them fairy breads and eating eggs on toast instead. With the myriad of activities this girl has, fairy bread isn't gonna be much help to her. Just like a contrabassoon is to me. Not only that it costs a bomb, it is really blardy expensive. $20K++ is enough to buy me a very nice car. 

So, we will not be getting any expensive toys anytime soon and Ash will not be having her fairy bread anytime soon either. It's a good thing she has forgotten about it, innit? *smiles*

Uncertain

We had wanted to give our home a make-over since...since...a long time ago. We even got a contractor in to tell him what we wanted done to our home, discussed the package, discussed the time-line..etc..

I am happy to report...we only got about a quarter of what we had originally wanted to do. Call it bad timing or you could call it "some-other-thing-came-up". Anyway, we only got about that much done and "that" was just re-painting the house. Well the interior of it at least. We got it down when we went for our long vacation end of last year. Whilst we were away, the hubs gave the keys to someone and when we came home....we came home to a new bungalow! Ha Ha...No la. Just re-painted with different colours and since I left the colour choices to hubby, I had not much to say...hehehehe.

Will we ever get the other part of our plans get done? I am not sure, to be honest. Just a few things here and there like maybe throw in a modern bathroom vanity. Things which we originally wanted but may not need in the coming years...so, I honestly don't know. Besides, the contractor is super busy. Hasn't had time to come look at our place. Haven't even billed us!! Yeah, we kinda haven't paid for a job completed more than 6 months ago.

Any progress, I will surely let you know. As of now, nothing's been moving yet. Things have to be getting on moving reaaaallll sooonn...

Happy

Ash told me that I am "the best mom ever" and that she will "love me forever" and that she'll "never break my (her) promise (to love me forever)".

Naturally...I felt the love and I was 'aawww-ed'. Who wouldn't be, right? Coming from a 6 year old, you have to believe her. It's different if it was from a 25 year old male, he may want something in return but from my girl? Nah...it's the real deal. 

You do understand why I needed to jot this down, don't you? Yes. As blackmail when I am 60 and she dumps me in some 'home' with complete strangers. Of course I need to remind her of her pledge to love me foreever. Meaning, never leave her side. 

Right? 

Yes?

No? 

But, really, I want to jot this down because I just want to remember her innocence. I want to remember what she's like at 6 when she's 16. I want to tell myself being a mom is truly worth all the effort I have put in and its not in vain. I want to know that I have done right by my kids. I want to be sure that I have given them the best that I possibly can. I want to know that they have the life that they deserve because no one asks to be born. When I say 'deserve' does not mean that they are showered with money or is pampered all the way. No. It is that they are treated like how any rightful human being is supposed to be treated : with respect, honesty and love. And, in turn, I see that reflecting in their being, their soul - I want to be assured of it. 

Being a mom, I am constantly asking myself if I am doing things right. There are no exams that I can take or evaluations for me to tick off, to know that I am moving along the right track. That I am passing each level with flying colours, or even passing at all. I can't find any. This is one test I wish I can take no matter how much I hate taking exams. It's the one result which I will eagerly wait for. 

But, unfortunately, there's no such exams. No such evaluations. Nothing.

The only way I know I have been passing each level of my child(ren)'s live(s) is how happy they are, how confident they are and how much of a good person that they are. 

There are no awards for moms (or dads). You don't need them actually. I know I don't and never did. Just the sheer joy resonating from a child is good enough for me. It's more than enough for me, personally. It's everything. 

Taking a break

Hubby came to me and said "you know - our kids are so different from others". I was like "yeah.."just listening but not concentrating because I was busy with my magazine and you know, just simply not paying attention. 

Then, he continued "other kids will be busy studying and will take a break from studying to play some games...whereas our kids, they play games whole day and will take a break TO STUDY..."..

hahahaha...quite true. Now you know. Our kids will never do well in school. And? What are we going to do about it? Nothing la. They are only 4 and 6. Chill!

Have a good weekend :-).