Thursday, January 6, 2011

Ash's first couple of days...

..were a breeze. I guess I got worried for nothing after all. I should have more faith in my own daughter. Hubby, on the other hand, assured me that she'd do ok but I still had my doubts because she was rather reserved and shy when we met her teacher before school started.

She proved me wrong...yet again.

I was all prepared for her to bawl her eyes out, cling onto my legs refusing to let go of them. She didn't. She bade me farewell and I was out the door. Since classes were 2 hours the past 3 days, I didn't drive home. Instead, I went grocery shopping with Mini, had tea, even went to the library.

The first day, I hung around downstairs with Mini. But the 2nd and 3rd day, I went off. I felt relieved for sure that she's finally gain some independence but at the same time, I felt heavy -- like I had to leave a big part of me behind. I have left her behind with her grandparents no doubt, but this is different. Like I had to put my full trust onto a stranger (almost) and hope that this kind soul will look after my kid..even if it's just for a couple of hours. I've gotta learn to trust them. I still am..trying to.

You know how it is with your first born; they tend to receive the best (and worst) from us. Don't get me wrong, of course the feeling is great. No clingy toddler, you can do what you like. Well, it's a 'half feeling' for me because I still have to go through the motion with Mini. I have been dying for this day to come. Strangely, now that the day has arrived, why am I not enjoying it fully?

It is getting late and I am beat. Apart from feeling or supposedly feeling on top of the world, I am tired. ANd I finally know how a soccer mom feels : It.ain'!!


Bryan and Brandon's Mama said...

Well done Ashley!! Aunty is really proud of you too, but then again, Aunty always had confidence in you (more than your mum) hahaha

Ann said...

Good for Ashley! I guess you are just having withdrawal symptoms.

Find a hobby and soon your time will be gone with the wind again! :)

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