I brought Ash over to my aunt's place yesterday afternoon for some “socializing”. My aunt has 2 grand-daughters – ages 2+ and 4 months. Though all 3 couldn't possibly understand each other at all, Ash seemed to enjoy herself and they or rather, the elder of the 2 was delighted to see Ash. I decided that its time Ash plays with other kids apart from ME (and I am a lousy playmate) and her grand-parents. All in all, she enjoyed herself and I plan to make this a ritual.
Then last night, I went over to this fella's blog for some juicy gossip and what greeted me was his daughter's report card for the term...LOL.."some gossip that was, Adrian...do better next time..:-P" *begging not to be thrown rotten eggs or tomatos*....I can't help but to smile and nod and shook my head but not too much, I'm old edi mar...brains might fall out...LOL...OK, no one needs to hear a lame joke!
It got me reflecting about the day, at my cousin's house...etc and then when I read the post, an immediate flash-back happened.
You see, seeing Ash playing with her relatives reminded me of me and my cousins at my grandma's when we were little. She took care of us while our parents worked. Every morning, our parents would drop us off before they head off to work and come back only in the evening to have dinner and then home to sleep. No thats not really the point of the story but thought I'd add in for some illustration (oK, you can *rolls eyes*....:-P)
When I was growing up, there were 3 of us kids whose age gap were pretty close. My elder cousin brother, S, who is a year older than me. Then there was me and then my cousin sister, W who is 2 years younger (and whose house I went to yesterday). My grandmother took care of W and I where as S stays up north, in another state and only visits during the festive holidays.
So, I'm sure you can guess where this post is heading towards. Yeah, we were compared our entire childhood to S and he was set as the benchmark when it comes to our academics. S was a brilliant student. He would have a string of A's for every exams he sat and anything less than an A- would be classified as a tragedy almost. Naturally, he was put on a pedestal each time by our parents and be reminded how we should emulate him and how he is so clever and how we were so hopeless, etc...yes, these words were used to our face most of time. I'm sure you know instead of a string of As we had a mix grill including sometimes burnt sausage...LOL
Then us cousins grew apart as we got older and only met during family functions. When we were kids, W got the worst crap. The way her parents were complaining about her, you'd eventually think that there REALLY was something wrong with her, that she was demented or stupid or something. She wasn't into drugs or anything, she was just not getting the desired grades. Just look at her now, I was at her house, a new house, with 2 very adorable kids, a loving husband to boot and a successful career at a multi-national company to end. More often than not, most of us ordinary folks would have to “choose” and I dare say that she doesn't, she has both!
Grades don't define you. Some are brilliant, as a child and throughout their adult life, there is no denying the fact. These people do “make” it in life with minimum or no guidance at all. But for most of us, encouragement and guidance at a young age is important instead of putting them down or dishing out punishments as a means to instill fear or feelings of remorse. It just goes against the human system.
I'm writing this down to remind myself not to turn out to be the impossible mom. I really hope I won't but if I do and if I am still blogging, feel free to tell me off..that is if my hubby don't get to me first...:-D
Then last night, I went over to this fella's blog for some juicy gossip and what greeted me was his daughter's report card for the term...LOL.."some gossip that was, Adrian...do better next time..:-P" *begging not to be thrown rotten eggs or tomatos*....I can't help but to smile and nod and shook my head but not too much, I'm old edi mar...brains might fall out...LOL...OK, no one needs to hear a lame joke!
It got me reflecting about the day, at my cousin's house...etc and then when I read the post, an immediate flash-back happened.
You see, seeing Ash playing with her relatives reminded me of me and my cousins at my grandma's when we were little. She took care of us while our parents worked. Every morning, our parents would drop us off before they head off to work and come back only in the evening to have dinner and then home to sleep. No thats not really the point of the story but thought I'd add in for some illustration (oK, you can *rolls eyes*....:-P)
When I was growing up, there were 3 of us kids whose age gap were pretty close. My elder cousin brother, S, who is a year older than me. Then there was me and then my cousin sister, W who is 2 years younger (and whose house I went to yesterday). My grandmother took care of W and I where as S stays up north, in another state and only visits during the festive holidays.
So, I'm sure you can guess where this post is heading towards. Yeah, we were compared our entire childhood to S and he was set as the benchmark when it comes to our academics. S was a brilliant student. He would have a string of A's for every exams he sat and anything less than an A- would be classified as a tragedy almost. Naturally, he was put on a pedestal each time by our parents and be reminded how we should emulate him and how he is so clever and how we were so hopeless, etc...yes, these words were used to our face most of time. I'm sure you know instead of a string of As we had a mix grill including sometimes burnt sausage...LOL
Then us cousins grew apart as we got older and only met during family functions. When we were kids, W got the worst crap. The way her parents were complaining about her, you'd eventually think that there REALLY was something wrong with her, that she was demented or stupid or something. She wasn't into drugs or anything, she was just not getting the desired grades. Just look at her now, I was at her house, a new house, with 2 very adorable kids, a loving husband to boot and a successful career at a multi-national company to end. More often than not, most of us ordinary folks would have to “choose” and I dare say that she doesn't, she has both!
Grades don't define you. Some are brilliant, as a child and throughout their adult life, there is no denying the fact. These people do “make” it in life with minimum or no guidance at all. But for most of us, encouragement and guidance at a young age is important instead of putting them down or dishing out punishments as a means to instill fear or feelings of remorse. It just goes against the human system.
I'm writing this down to remind myself not to turn out to be the impossible mom. I really hope I won't but if I do and if I am still blogging, feel free to tell me off..that is if my hubby don't get to me first...:-D
4 comments:
ha ha..i was quite a lackadaisical kid..so, I have no expectations from my kids.
Even now...I think my kid's teachers have higher expectations than me.
ha ha ha.
My mother taught me this, "Failure is the mother of all successes". So there. If u fail, just try again.
*roll eyes*
some people are just so hard to please! :P
Mott : how true indeed! your mama taught u well, my fren!
Adrian : :-P
I had a mum who put me thru stuff that she didn't get to do when she was young. Imagine the torture. I didn't enjoy some of the things I had to learn just becoz she didn't get to do it.
I was so relieved when finally (old enuff oredi)I called it quits on the piano. Didn't finish up to the last grade as she would have expected me to. I am happy just playing the piano for myself (for fun) and not performing for someone elses' pleasure.
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