Thursday, March 20, 2008

This post has no subject matter

I was writing the continuation of Ash's story but I couldn't continue cos I'm feeling kind of in the dumps. I don't want to play cool that it doesn't hurt me, it does.

For as long as I can remember, ever since Ash was born, it was a mark of hubby being away from the family. He worked late and coming home everyday close to 9pm. Before you know it, he will be too tired and will soon go off to bed at 10:30pm. During the weekends, he would scoot off to work in the afternoon. Often times, coming home only in the evening and then we are off to the in laws place for dinner.

So again, yesterday was Ash's birthday and I remember him emailing me (yes, we resort to emails now cos he is too busy to even pick up the phone to talk to me) yesterday to tell me that he will be home early so we could go out for dinner to have a little celebration and to spend some quality family time. In his email, he also told me that tomorrow (today) is a public holiday. I was thinking "Geez, it wouldn't make any difference cos he would have to scoot off to work anyway". I know, we already had the party for her on Sunday but did you also know that he went back to work after that? He rushed off immediately after everyone had gone home and only came home after dark.

True enough, last night, he only reached home at 8pm and was pouring rain. By which time it was already Ash's bedtime and the minute we gave her the bottle, she slept. But she didn't have a peaceful sleep since she woke up about an hour later, cranky, wanting to sleep but couldn't. He did his best to put her back to sleep. By then I was tired having to entertain her the entire afternoon and only had my dinner at 9pm.

If my guesses were as accurate as this, every time, I entered a contest, I would've been rich by now. The hubs was off to work by 8am this morning and I think it'd be a whole day affair. I don't like to compare but I have plans. When my plans don't work out and when I see other people living or seem to be living out my plans, I feel hurt and jealous that I want my plans to work out too.


adrian said...

I was once like ur hubby until my dotter started to be closer to me.

What does ur hub do? Why does it take up so much of his time?

Perhaps in his heart, he just wants to work hard to provide u and Ashley a better life.

Mommy to Chumsy said...

*hugs* I'm sure your hubby would like to spend as much time as possible with you and Ashley but just not possible at this time.

i understand how you feel. Hang in there ok :)

Tammy said...

{{{HUGS}}} I know how you feel and it's not a good feeling.

Sweetiepie said...

I know how you feel right now.I do have this situation all the time.When we plan to have a family day the next day,his boss call him to work although it's his off day.I felt really sad everytime our plan changed too.We don't have family day like others.Not even chinese new year.Hope your hubby can find a better solution to balance the work and family time.Cheers!

Anonymous said...

a hug for you..
i know your feel as i do have this situation most of the time, some more i still have to keep extra eyes on a very demanding baby, feel so tired too..

huisia said...

i am the anonymous

JO-N said...

I feel for you too. *Hugs*

Sometimes, men can be very attached to their work, especially men who are responsible. Be strong because Ash needs you.

Try to imagine women whose husbands work overseas and they only meet once a year.

Shireen Loh said...

Adrian : He is in the engineering industry. I hope Ash will get attached to him too so he gets to spend time at home..

Barb : I know he does. Though I keep telling myself that its temporary but somehow, I have doubts. Thanks for the hugs..

Tammy : Thanks for the BIG HUG :-). It sure isn't a nice feeling at all :-(

Sweetiepie : OK, after seeing your comment, I shouldn't even be complaining. But you know, its hard and I really admire your ability to handle it all these times.

Huisia : Thanks for the hug and for lending me your ear. I know you go through this too. Its tough.

Jo-N : You are so nice Jo-N. Thanks for the hug and your words of wisdom. I agree, there are others who are in far worst position than me but I can't help to wish it could be easier :-(

sting said...

I couldn't help but feel bad too.. hoping your hubby manages to balance work and family.. there's just so much that he stand to miss out of Ash and your life, which can't be bought back.. *big hug*

IMMomsDaughter said...

I know it's hard and am proud of how you positive you are outwardly. He is afterall working hard for the family's future so, there's not much choice.

It's hard, it's unavoidable but you know you are strong enough to face it ;)

mott said...

oh..i know how u feel. mine works hard like a dog, sometimes come back only at 3am.

i kinda got used to it... what to do? hv to feed the family. he does his bestest to make it up...keeping sundays solely for family. perhaps, you can arrange for him, just one day, to be with the family? Even if it's just staying at home..

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