Wednesday, September 22, 2010

on being a parent

My friend mockingly asked " do you find being a parent now?". I told her "arrgghhh...". Then, she laughed her head off. And I sensed a relief from her upon hearing that. She's been telling me how her girls (ages 7 and 4) constantly drive her up the wall and that she's always yelling at them and wishes that they'll stop talking or asking questions, basically know when to stop wanting her attention when she's not ready to give any.

I know how she feels, not so much about the talking bit because one of my girls doesn't know how to 'talk' yet. Yes, just because I don't talk about their relationship with each other in great detail, doesn't mean that they don't fight. Both my girls do. Thankfully, Ash doesn't hit back or endanger her sister in any way. Like if Ash's playing with something and lil Em wants it, she'll simply hold on to it, or run away with it leaving Em screaming her little lungs out. YOu would think lil EM'll let it go and not be bothered right? Nope. She will cry and cry and attempt to grab it from her big sis. SOmetimes, I'll just let them be but most times, to just stop lil Em, I'll tell Ash to give in which she usually does.

However, I honestly don't feel as stressed up. Maybe not yet. At times I do because I can't stand babies/toddler crying. Now that will stress me up to a point where I will feel a giant zit popping up on my forehead. ANd, when that happens, I will get further stressed up just looking for the best acne treatment because I have really sensitive skin. Other than that, if they fight happily and no one cries, I'll be ok.

I understand why she feels the way she does. First of all, she works full time and on alternate Saturdays. Second of all, they don't have a maid -- not even a part-timer. For the sake of her family, she cooks dinner too. Not whipping out gourmet dishes but at least she does something for them. She hardly has time for herself. She was telling me how difficult it is to even have a conversation with her hubby at home or in the car without her kids butting in all the time.

So, yes, I get her and feel for her. I didn't start giving her a lecture on how she should get her kids to bed early so she can have some "OUR" time with her hubby or to take them out for activities so that they get to burn all the urm...pent up energy or have home projects for the kids to keep them occupied. It's not easy having to juggle the household without help, work long hours, and have to endure our school time-table. By the time she picks her kid up from school and head on home, it's already 7.30pm she says. I can imagine her having to multi-task at top speed to get dinner ready, her girls cleaned up and do laundry. Plus, you're supposed to do ALL of that with a smile on your face.

It's never easy being a parent. Just randomly pick out a mommy or a daddy blog and I can guarantee you there will be at least one post lamenting about how incredibly difficult it is being parents. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, if you choose to do it. But, at the same time, it's also one of the best thing that will ever happen to you if you become one. Believe me and I say this crossing my heart, hands, and one will ever tell you otherwise.


Cynthia said...

Hear hear Shireen! Amen to that!..being a parent is one of toughest jobs EVER! but THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!! No monetary rewards (OK maybe a bit would be great) would replace it. I don't know how this friend of yours does it. She must be super efficient!...has she got family to pass the kids to once in a while to give her a bit of a break?...gosh goodness me I do it all too, (without the work) - so I can't even begin to imagine how hard it'd be with work. Bravo to her. But she needs to look after herself too. (I keep telling myself this)Maybe she should start blogging. hehe.

Ann said...

LOL...anyone who tells you otherwise has a maid (maybe 2) and parents/inlaws to help.

Maid does all the chores. Parents/inlaws feed and play with the kids.

But then...that would not be considered being a parent anymore no?

Shireen Loh said...

Cynthia : yes she does thank God! Usually during the school hols she'll bring her kids up to Ipoh to be with their grandparents so she and her hubby get some time off back in KL. I bet she looks forward to that. On the blogging part, she doesn't have a pc at home and no internet access in the office, she relies on her nokia to see updates even on FB. So definitely wld not be blogging since it's quite difficult on the phone.

Ann : you know, you are so right! Those parents who aren't hands-on will not complain that much eh..

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