Interpretation

This post is not about the kids or anything mommy-ish. I'm just merely letting out something which I've been harboring for a few weeks now.

The ill-feelings have subsided but I don't know why I continue to beat myself about it. DOn't get me wrong, I am actually angry at myself and not at anyone else.

What's worst is that, when I chose to mention something about it on FB, I didn't realize it came across as me being a show-off. Hmm..that's perhaps the danger of media forums/sites like these. We write exactly what we're feeling at the moment, but even for that mere 10 words, people can have a million interpretation of your status.

But, I have also chosen not to elaborate since I know that people are generally not interested in knowing or interested in explanations. They want to hear what they want to hear, know what they want to know. And for people who don't like you, they just won't want to know no matter how or what you say. For the people who do (like you) however, will accept you for who you are and you know, will generally accept your point of view.

Alright, before I derail again to Timbuktu, I should just stick to what I wanted to write. I am the least bothered about what people thinks of me because life is too short for sensitive or insecure people. The only people I will be concerned deeply about are my family. But, I was just saying after a friend's comment on my status. It wasn't a bad comment, just that since I am only human and will also subject myself to interpretation, what he wrote, seemed to me like I was trying to show off.

That, made me sad and angry again at what caused this whole emotion started in the first place. I've been feeling sad because of my naiveness in trusting and believing someone's sob story and then, to act on that trust and belief. Frankly, I already had doubts, I had reservations and concerned but when someone comes to you telling you that they are on death-bed, what can you possibly do? You push your instinct away and just go with it. I just don't have the heart to say no.

When you happen to be right later, don't you just want to hit your head against the wall? Why were you so naive. But under the circumstances, even if you knew and is a highly street smart person, do you think it was possible to say 'no'? The worst of it all, is that we never seem to learn from our lesson as this happens to us time and time again.

I'm not angry at them. As a matter of fact, I think they are incredibly gutsy to be able to pull off something like this and continue to have angels watching over them (because there are more angels than devils out there I can imagine). I am just angry at myself, at ourselves for being foolish yet again.

I'm not sure what or where this post is going. Again, it is open to interpretation once again. But, believe me, if I can name names, I will not hesitate. But I have made a promise not to so I'm not gonna. Not in the best of moods surely (sounds like a Black Friday to me) and it's not even because of the kids!!