Random weekend shots

"bet you didn't think of this mom!"

"I can do impersonations too (of her sis)"

"now, caring for my baby sister is serious business"

My rockin' baby

Note : In my entire 30-something life, I've only been to 2 concerts - Bon Jovi (where hubby and I first met) and MJ. Although, I sat way way far from the stage; so far that my eyes were literally glued to the big screens instead. In fact, MJ looked like an ant from where I was at. Nevertheless, that night was pretty spectacular and something else. I was very tempted to go again but the thought of queuing for the tickets one more time sort of knocked some sense into me.

RIP MJ, you are the true MJ, not MaryJane, not Metrojaya. Whatever that has been said about you, your weirdness, your nose...etc, you are the ultimate performer and entertainer.

Life's little pleasant surprises

Aren't these the most adorable looking things?

They are simply so cute I fear that I might want them for myself!! LOL...I am...again...hallucinating.

Anyway, the shoes, were a gift for Emily from a super dear blogging friend of mine whose sweet gesture made me grin from ear to ear. The little surprise came in a little pos laju package during my confinement (I know, I know...I am only blogging about this now when I should've done it earlier).

So, Barb, thank you once again for this wonderful pressie. Everyone loved it. Sorry it took me so long to blog about it. And maybe next time, you can get me a matching pair too eh!! heheh...just kidding.

6 weeks have come and gone

It has been a while since I've posted images. No, actually, it has been a while since I've taken any.

This however was taken yesterday, in the morning when Emily was in the mood (it's far and between actually). There are a couple more here if you wanna see some.

So, what is life like with 2 kids?

It definitely takes some getting used to. Challenging to say the least. I must really commend hubby for his patience and helping hand. He's been doing great with the kids.

Something else I realised - I have been talking about Emily a lot. I need to strike a balance cos you know, they grow up real fast.

If only I have say...8 days in a week. Won't that be cool?

The story of Emily (part 2)

OMG...this is so passe already isn't it? I mean, I might as well wait till she's graduated college before telling the remainder of the story. OK, beat me up, me is guilty yet again for procrastinating.

So, where was I? Oh yes, hubby came back, took me and we took off. I was teary and in pain. Waving goodbye to Ash, knowing how difficult it is for her to be spending the night without us even though she's with the grandparents. The last time she did that, she woke up at 2 in the morning and waited outside near the door for us to come get her. And just imagining that was pretty bad for me. Coupled with my contractions.

But...Ash always surprises us in her own way. We expected her to kick and fuss while in my FIL's arms, she didn't. She just waved to us goodbye as we drove off.

And me, well, the contractions were coming on strong. Didn't time them but they were pretty hard.

It's a good thing my PIL lives really close by the hospital, we got there like in 10 minutes. Hubby dropped me off at the Emergency entrance, the building where the labour ward is situated. I couldn't get up. Literally couldn't walk. Had to get the wheelchair and the guard wheeled me in.

The whole time, I was thinking “please dear God, let me be dilated say 7cm. And get me out of there in an hour max”.

When I reached the labour ward, I told them my name and the midwife told me she was expecting me. The doc informed her that it's very likely I'd be dropping by that night. Ha, first time he's so accurate, about anything!

So anyway, they wheeled me into the labour room. This time, the room was smaller. I didn't get that supersized one since I came in un-announce (so to speak). The one I got was small and urm, too close for comfort if you ask me.

“Let me check you first and ...(here, she said something but I can't remember)”. And so, they did. They came, checked, shaved and told me I was 3cm. I was like “Oh my f*** ***...only 3????”. Man..how hard is it to get dilated these days huh?? Are you telling me that my contractions will get worst?? Ok, I give up.”

The midwife than gave me the jab I requested, pulled the towel over me and whispered “ok, you get some rest. If you want an epi, you let me know ok”. Ok, so rest I attempted to however impossible it was. I mean, really, when you feel drowsy and your stomach hurts, its hard to rest isn't it? That was about 10pm.

This time, the effects of the pethidine really kicked in. I couldn't lift my head without feeling heavy. And to a certain extent, it helped eased the pain a little...not too much, just a little. Hubby was around, trying to comfort me as best he can. The nurses came in to check on me periodically. I was even given the glucose drip (which freaked me out at first when they wheeled the damn thing in) cos my temperature shot up.

My ObGy came in about 1 1/2 hours later for a VE. Only 4cm. I almost fainted. Only 4??? The pain was already killing me. At this point, you must be wondering “why didn't I just get an epi?”. The answer is very simple – I wanted to be a super hero!! LOL...Truth is, I wasn't thinking. I was drowsy and trying to work through the pain. In other words – a complete idiot.

I slept or tried to sleep. I asked for another dose. After the midwife injected me, she told me to call her if I feel like poo-ing. I mumbled ok. That was around 12:30am.

So there I was, holding hubby's hand with each contractions and asking him to stroke my hair. I don't know why. As if it helped but funny, at that time, it did. He was way tired I could tell. But he tried his best to keep awake.

All of a sudden, I felt like pooing. The contractions were unbelievable. It was crazy out there, like a carnival of contractions or something. They were having a ball with pizzas, coke and viagra all together. I quickly pressed for the nurses. 2 of them came in. One of them did the urm..checking. And lo and behold, I am 7cm! You know how long I waited for her to say those magical words? Ok, it didn't seem that long but it felt like eternity for me since I was technically in labour since the morning.

And I realised something. The midwife started to explain something to me and I responded etc...My initial thought was “Gosh, I need to manage the pain...Do I have to respond or do you have to talk to me now? I don't feel like talking that much right now”. But, funnily enough, by talking, I was able to focus on something else and forget about my pain for a moment. That really helped. So, when the midwife came back in, I started babbling away. She must've thought I was going nuts for talking so much.

“I have already called the Dr and he's on his way”. I was like “yeah..ok...so, how many of us are giving birth tonight?”...

Bla bla bla...and all of a sudden, I felt this very strong sensation the biggest poo on earth was about to come out. I am talking big time. Nuclear sized poo. And my butt was going to explode. It was coming down hard on me. The pain was tremendous. So hard and it never went away. I let out an “aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh....” pretty mild for someone who's about to deliver a 6 pounds baby but let me assure you, it was...I don't even have the words.

They were all frantically de-assembling the bed to assume the 'delivery' position. In my state of drunk ed-ness, I saw my doc, he came in, fully attired for the occasion and ready to go. I don't think he even had the time to give me an episiotomy, because Emily just slid out. From the time I went 'ahhhhh...” and Emily coming out, it was like a split second. I didn't even have to push. It was that quick.

I briefly got a glimpse at her. She was all covered in blood and what not. I was in total, relieved I guess. And all I wanted to do then was sleep while I was being sewed up. I was left alone, cos hubby followed the baby out. My mind – a complete blank.

So, I did it without an epi and naturally but without the need for induction whatsoever. Which was what I was praying and hoping for. And as usual, I went to bed that night, swearing I'd never do this again and reliving the labour process in my head. I couldn't let it go. It was truly a traumatising experience. And you wonder, why we women are willing to go through it over and over and over again.

As for Ashley, I was told she slept throughout and didn't make a fuss. It was comforting to hear that. More on her and how she's been so far as a big sister coming up...later...so, you guys, thanks for dropping by. I have lots to tell. But I am half-asleep most of the time. Little Emily is really too hot for me to handle.

More later. In the meantime, you have a good weekend!

Dream come true

It is almost 11pm now and would you believe it - both kids are asleep! They were asleep since 9.

Can a mother ask for anything more? Nope. Definitely not me.

Ok, so, today was, for me, a little better. For one thing, its the weekend and hubby is around to err...stop me from going bonkers. And, for the first time in weeks, we went out for dinner, just hubby, Ash and I (minus Emily of course. She was with my mom). It was nice, eating something full of ajinomoto for a change...heheheh...

Can you tell? I'm definitely feeling better. Of course, it would be nice if my bum isn't so big and I could fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It wouldn't hurt also if I had one of those brand new personalized tote bags too. Unfortunately for me, that's not the case here. But I don't mind. It feels good to get out and be somewhere for a change. I'm not sure how long this paradise will last. In fact, it's ending real soon cos as I am typing this last sentence, I hear Emily crying.

So guys...catch ya later.

1 tot plus an infant

...you can forget about :

- having family mealtime – one of you will have to watch over the 2 kids in case one pokes the eyes out of the other. No prize for guessing who the "pok-er" and the "pok-ee" is.

- going anywhere – if you plan on leaving at 10am in the morning, be sure to wake up at 5 to get things done.

- having a one-on-one time with your spouse – the only time hubby and I were together, alone, was in the delivery room.

- watching tv – all of a sudden, any tv rules you had for your tot before will fly out the window faster than Federer's serve.

- having quiet and peaceful nights – go figure!

- having un-interrupted sleep at night or any time of the day for that matter – go figure some more!


2 kids...what were we thinking? We should've gotten our heads examined!!

p.s : No mood for nice post...

The sweetest smile

I woke up this morning, feeling a little better than I had the past few days. I thought the day could not get any better and just then, I saw the sweetest smile as I called her name. All of a sudden everything made sense.

Since last Friday, things have improved slightly. I did cut my hair for one thing. It was nice to be out and do things like a 'normal' person even if it was only for an hour. I got that privilege because Hubby was so kind to take leave from work to help me out on that day since my confinement lady completed her month's work.

Plus, just yesterday, we left Emily with my mom and hubby took Ash, his sis, parents and of course, the grumpy ol' me to Bukit Tinggi for some urm..hillside retreat for the day. Even though it was a huge mistake (there were just too many people) but it did me some good. I was expected the cool air but it was so hot. It was so hot that my SIL bought herself a funky looking hat heheh...Then again, she would've bought anything including and especially discount chandeliers (if she could get her hands on them). Anyway, the trip was sort of like the final getaway for SIL before she leaves for home today.

To top it all off, hubby took care of Emily for the most part of last night while I accompanied Ash to bed. He woke me up around 4 to "take over". It was the first night in that one month since I actually had interrupted sleep for that couple of hours. Even if it's not quite enough - I do wish for more but it's definitely more than I could ask for.

I really must commend hubby for his effort. I know he's also worn out. Driving around and having to help out at home, can be extremely exhausting. I know he's doing his best to help me. Sometimes...rather, most of the time, I wish I didn't have this silly thing they call pnd. Really, sucks the life out of any woman.

I am hoping that we'd have some form of routine back in our lives. Especially now that I'm done "doing the month" and my SIL having gone home. It has been absolutely chaos for the past couple of weeks. I am hoping also that at least with some order, I will not feel so terrible.

Shopping

Well, I wish I could say it has been me who's been around town, shopping my head off.

But, it isn't.

The lucky girl is my SIL. She's been back in town for 2 weeks and as I am typing this, she's boarding the plane and flying back home. I bet she had a whirlwind of a time buying and walking and buying some more. I know that for a fact because just yesterday evening, she complained that there isn't any space left in her luggage. So, we jokingly suggested she should probably get another bag.

She bought plenty, for sure. Everything..clothes, handbags, more clothes...I am telling you. In the 2 weeks that she was here, she has walked every shopping mall there is in the Klang Valley. Plus, she even managed to get my BIL the wholesale ipods he wanted.

As for me, while she was on a prowl, I was at home, trying to force feed myself with all the chicken, meat etc...and learning to be an alcoholic (I failed miserably in both).

How has it been...

Since my last post? Quite a bit...

For starters, there is just no way your life can ever be the same with a newborn and that you'll get used to your "new" life. Unless you are urm...popping out kids every year then, perhaps that is usual for you but for me, nah...it takes a complete turn-around.

I haven't exactly been well. No, not sick or anything but just a pretty bad case of pnd. Hence, the lack of posting. It hit me much earlier this time round. SOme days, I am fine (like now) and some days, are just a complete mystery. I get weepy and upset at the slightest thing like when my sms didn't get a reply from hubby. Or when people were awfully kind in telling me my tummy is huge. You know, just frivolous things like these. At the rate I am going, I'd probably hit the roof if someone were to comment on my worn out ceramic tile.

For good reasons, I am hoping this will not be a lasting condition. Because...it really sucks. And I am supposed to be happy. Thats what they tell me anyway. I am happy for one thing - I washed my hair! It's probably the best feeling in the world if you came from where I'm from. Trust me...it is. But I'm not done yet...i.e with my hair. I have not visited the salon for a good and thorough wash and trim. I am thinking..maybe...that might be the trick to save me from this dreaded disease. What do you think? Think it will?...

Would be good to have a vacation

Yeah. Almost everyone I know are having their holidays now. It's the school holidays these 2 weeks. Kids these days are pretty darn lucky if you ask me. Parents have all the time in the world to plan and execute holiday plans with relative ease. I remember my time - school holidays meant getting to spend nights at my grandma's place.

Let me tell you, grandma's place is the ultimate holiday resort. Kids can do virtually what they want and get away with almost, ALMOST anything! Though grandma didn't have the latest hi-fi set nor a plasma tv with a state-of-the-art TV wall mount but still....it was awesome being at grandma's.

Now when I look at Ash and the fact that she's been spending the past 2 months at her grandma's place during the day, I can see that she's definitely enjoying her time there. Even at such a young age, she knows that grandma's is the resort home for kids. And what's more, you get to do the same prohibitory thing over and over and....yeah, you get the drift.